


Instant Kharma

by Xeen



Category: Almost Human
Genre: Gen, M/M, designated driver, kiss, slash if you wink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-20 00:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1490032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xeen/pseuds/Xeen





	Instant Kharma

Dorian is not happy with his "new place", but he's not the only one… or the consequences of getting drunk.

-o-

"I said shut up!" John Kennex snapped. He raised his index finger and glared at Dorian for good measure.  
The android didn't react, his eyes locked on the windshield. "I heard you the first time, man," Dorian stated, barely able to keep his anger in check. "Listen, our shift ended 23 minutes ago, I am no longer required to ride with you today. In fact, what I really mean is," he added, facing his partner, "it's a relief that I don't have to put up with your quirks for the next twelve hours."  
"My quirks? I have been known to be a free agent in the past but I'm not the one with…"   
"You bend the rules every time you see fit, John, and never for my benefit. Nonetheless, I'm supposed to cover for you, and be the perfect bullet catcher."  
"You're good, I give you that."  
"I'm not finished. I spent the last half hour watching you eat noodles. Must I remind you that it was never part of my job description? So I will ask again, would you be kind enough to take me back to the lab? I sense my energy levels dangerously dwindling down."  
"Come on, Dorian, I don't need state of the art sensors to see that your levels are just fine! You know what I'm thinking?"  
"I don't want to know."   
Kennex' mouth curled upward. "I'm thinking you've been in a huff these last couple of weeks because you're tired of Rudy already. I think you're mad at me." Dorian's eyes went back to the windshield. "Damn it, Dorian, I stuck my neck out for you! You're always the one saying that I don't listen, but it's proof positive that I do! I did exactly what you asked of me: I talked to Sandra."  
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, John."  
Kennex sighed. Dorian was not entirely wrong. In fact, he was totally right, he pondered. Sandra would have agreed because she couldn't care less. She was happy as long as they stay together. Dorian living with Rudy was his doing, not the captain's. There was plenty of room in his loft, and he probably wouldn't mind Dorian's company, -- at all. That was his problem, not Dorian's. The trophy room was only a weak excuse. If they shared his apartment, they could probably share his leg charger too, for all he knew. Or Rudy will make something happen to that effect. God, even Valerie was sold to the idea that the two partners would be better off living together. But what else would they share? Kennex wasn't ready to go down that road. To be honest, he wasn't 100% sure he wanted to go there unlike the rest of his colleagues. He'd bet the precinct had already a pool going.   
He knew Dorian was growing on him fast, too fast for his own good. Getting into a fight with Paul after he shot that MX was a dead giveaway. "Maldonado did you a favour," Kennex insisted stubbornly. "To tell you the truth, I was surprised she even bailed. In my opinion, you should be happy with her decision. That's a first for a synthetic."  
"You're aware I can tell when you're lying?"  
"And you're aware that people would have talked?"  
"People have been quite vocal about us from day one. It never upset you before. Don't pretend you made this arrangement to protect your reputation," Dorian groaned. His hands clenched on his lap, and he looked away. "Is it because I said I like you?" he asked sheepishly.  
Kennex chose to ignore his partner comment. "Rudy is a nice guy. Clearly, he likes you a lot."  
Dorian bit his lip, crossed his arms on his chest, and purposely faced the window. "And that's exactly why I'm stuck."   
"What was that?"  
"Like you said, Rudy is a really nice guy. Unlike you, he's genuinely happy with this bunking arrangement. My being here with him never felt like an imposition, John, because unlike you, he likes having me around. Rudy may be weird, and I must say odd looking at times, and probably the loneliest guy on the planet, but yes, he likes me, a lot, and he's not afraid to show it to me. Should I leave now, it would break his heart."  
"You're over thinking it."  
Dorian shrugged. "See? That's why I don't want to talk about it. Now, take me back or…"  
"Or what?" Kennex let go of the wheel and threw his arms up. "You'll file a complaint? News flash! You're still government property." Dorian glared at him but didn't comment. "You just stay quiet. We're almost there."  
"I will take control of the car," Dorian said, impossible blue eyes sparkling with mischief.  
"Really? You're not even a little curious?"  
"Why? Given your lack of empathy, I can only assume we're going somewhere unpleasant."  
"My lack of empathy? I'm not the one with empathy issues here! Two weeks! In two weeks you've barely talked to me. You know what? You're not fun any more, Dorian!"  
"I'm not supposed to be fun. I'm supposed to be a cop."  
"For chrissake, it's like riding with an MX! If it's the thank you I get for talking to Maldon…"  
"You don't understand."  
"What's to understand? You wanted out, you got out. Problem solved."  
"A month ago, I should have sworn I'd never say I wanted to live in the basement with those creatures…" Dorian shivered.  
"Seriously? Apparently you don't get along with Rudy either. And you've been giving me the cold should…"  
"… but I think I'd rather go back."  
"You know what? I don't know why I listened to you. It was a mistake, and you just proved my point. You're right, maybe I'll ask for an MX if you're so unhappy with being my partner, and let you ride with Paul. That should be fun!"   
"That's exactly the problem, John. Not only don't you listen, but worse, you don't ask, ever."  
"Ask? Dorian, it's almost 21:00 hours, I'm tired. Honestly, right now, I don't need another cryptic line of android wisdom."  
"You never asked me…" Dorian stated, with a tremor in his voice. John frowned. "You never asked me what is it I really wanted."  
"Only because it was totally superfluous. It was obvious you wanted to transform my trophy room into android paradise. Let me tell you, Dorian, it's not happening. Ever!"  
"I know," Dorian said, putting on his disco face for maximum impact. "But I'm perfectly functional. I could live on my own," he said defiantly.  
"You can't! For god's sake, last time I checked, you were an android! Dorian, be realistic, we can't be together twenty-four seven, we're not married!" Kennex said, before he realized he could never take those words back.  
"I know. For your information, I'm not mad at you."  
"What?"  
"I get it man. I was wrong. You don't like me. Not that you need my blessing, but ask for an MX, throw me out of the car, just shoot me, I don't care." Kennex stayed silent. "Now that we're clear, would you get me back to the lab, please?"  
"No." Dorian's face froze. Maybe his levels are really too low, Kennex thought. "So what? No witty quip, no smart repartee? Good, we're finally getting somewhere."   
"I don't understand, John. You made it clear you didn't want to spend extra time with me, and yet, you won't take me back to Rudy's? That is highly illogical."  
"I like illogical. Illogical is good," Kennex teased him.  
"Seriously man, you better put your shit together before Maldonado retires you, permanently. Because when she does, you know what's in store for me. I'm like dispensable here!"  
"So that's it? You're afraid my behaviour reflects on you, nice."  
"Come on, you shot an MX! I mean, I'm not very fond of them either, but they're alive," he hesitated, "in their own way. Though I do appreciate the gesture, it's getting you nowhere."  
"Oh, please, don't be difficult. You were so pleased I defended you!"  
"You said that you didn't shoot him on my account. Set your record straight, man."  
"Whatever."  
Dorian turned around suddenly and stared at him. "Don't even look at Dorian," John's voice boomed inside the car.   
"Don't do that!"  
Dorian insisted. "And I'm not being difficult. I'm being realistic. Getting in a fight with Paul, man, really?"  
"Okay, that was a mistake. I got carried away and… How would you know?"  
"A cat fight in Maldonado's office? I saw you, the whole precinct saw you. Not to mention that Captain Maldonado can unbury your psych eval."  
"Unbury? Is it even a word?"  
"You're on slippery slope, John. I'm pretty sure you forgot your other appointment."   
"I didn't forget. I chose not to go. Because there's no trauma." He pulled on the neck of his jacket. "See, not a bruise, I didn't lose a limb, I'm perfectly all right."  
"Stop playing dumb. Your anger management sessions won't keep you away of your impending unburial," Dorian insisted.  
"That's enough. We're here." Kennex shifted swiftly into neutral, and pulled over the curb, ignoring his partner comment.   
Dorian looked around; apartment buildings, a construction site down the street, the Wall in the distance. "Where is here?"  
"Come on, I'll show you. But let go of the coat first, I got you a leather jacket…"

….

When they reached the top floor, the party was already in full swing. Every single cop off duty that night was here, with or without their significant others. Music was blasting from hovering neon speakers, disorienting lights flashing from every direction. Dorian stopped at the door. Kennex barged in, shaking hands, patting backs, exchanging platitudes, elbowing his way to the open bar, his mind set on one goal, get hammered.   
While he was well on his way to succeed, Rudy grabbed at his jacket, yelling something in his ear, his voice tinged with hysteria. Kennex peeled his eyes from Sandra's fingernails, redder than ever and wriggling in the strobe lights, to look at the lanky technician. Slightly drunk, he was staring at him expectantly.   
"What?" he yelled back.  
"So, can you help me? I might have to admit that you know him better than I do."  
"Man, I've absolutely no idea what you're talking about."  
Rudy looked hurt. He exhaled deeply, his eyes unfocused. He rubbed his hands together. "Dorian."  
"Dorian what?"  
"I like him."  
"I know. Why is it a problem?"  
"He helps me with my… er… special projects, he's kind and…"  
"Okay, okay, I get it. He's perfect!"  
"He is kind of perfect," Rudy pondered, "and he knows a lot of songs."  
"Don't I know it," Kennex nodded, raising his glass to his partner, motionless against the wall. "So what? You want me to help you with his singing? Sorry, Rudy, not much I can do in that department. I don't have a musical ear."  
"You don't understand."  
"Oh god, not you too," Kennex said, gulping a mouthful of bourbon.  
Rudy looked at him puzzled. "No, of course not, his singing is fine. That's the other thing. I realized he had been accessing my personal files."  
"Something to hide?" Kennex smirked.  
"Yes, John, like why the DRNs were decommissioned."  
"Oh, you mean he's looking into his past?"  
"There's only some much safeguard I can implement. His ability to unlock protected files far exceeds my capability of encryption if he puts his mind to find what he's looking for."  
"And you're positive that's what he does?"  
Rudy nodded. "The problem is I think he doesn't want to hurt my feelings."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, I can't be sure, but his CPU can process gazillion of information without my knowledge. I reckon his core temperature is higher when he stays more than an hour inside the lab. I ran diagnostics and I discovered he needed more heat dissipation."  
"English?"  
"He overclocked his processor. He's after something, John."  
"And you're sure he's after the DRN files?"  
Rudy nodded. "You understand I don't sleep a lot. Now I can't sleep at all. And there's the other thing."  
"Ah! Of course, the other thing…" Kennex waved a hand and his glass was immediately filled up.  
"We like to go out together. Dorian is… er… very handsome, and DRNs have not been around for a few years. He attracts a lot of attention from the ladies. From the male crowd too, I might surmise," Rudy added thoughtfully.  
"Yeah, yeah, I get it Rudy, Dorian, the sex magnet. What's the problem? Don't you want him out of the lab?"  
"May I be quite honest, John? He's not interested. He's a buzz kill. I may not be the most attractive guy in the room, but I can be quite the charmer." Kennex managed to hide a grin behind his glass. "He's kind and gentle, but he steals my mojo," confessed Rudy, watery eyes fixed on Kennex's shifting in and out of focus. "I've been stress-eating lately."   
Kennex took in his frail figure. "And that's a bad thing?"  
"Don't get my wrong, I like having him around, but things kind of developed in a way I did not anticipate."  
"What do you want from me exactly?"  
"Would you take him, John? Please? I'm exhausted. I can talk to Captain Maldonado if that's what's bothering you but he's got to go."

….

"T-too bad you can't drink D-dorian," Rudy stuttered, sipping on his neon blue beverage. "I pro-promise I'll make it up to you. I devised a p-pretty cool pro-program," he said with a wink before losing his balance. Dorian settled him into the next couch. "Vvvveerry, very cool," the technician muttered, his eyes glassy.  
Dorian gazed around, hands clasped behind his back. Half the crowd was on the verge of passing out. Kennex's voice and a friendly pat in the back made him turn around. The detective slumped onto his partner with a swagger. "Nice party," he slurred. His breath alone could have intoxicated the whole precinct.   
Dorian frowned, concerned despite his resolve. "Are you all right ? What are we doing here, man?"  
"Drink, celebrate."  
"Why am I the only android?"  
"Because I need to get back home safely, you're my designated driver," Kennex smirked, wiggling a finger under his nose.  
"I'm serious man. Why am I here?"  
Kennex shook his head. "Well, the invitation mentioned Kennex plus one. You're my plus one."  
The android stared, puzzled. "What do you mean exactly, John?"  
"Seriously, I don't want to talk now, I'm totally wasted, man." Kennex staggered. Dorian caught him before he collapsed. "You heard me," he continued, handing him the car remote. "I'm not taking a cab. Don't you want to drive the damn cruiser?"  
"I'm not your personal chauffeur."  
"Oh, god, come on, don't play coy! You know exactly what I mean. Rudy's right, you're a buzz kill," he muttered, glancing around. The lights were dimmed, and everybody was drunk anyway, and... what the hell! He grabbed his partner's head, and his mouth crashed on Dorian's in a clatter of teeth. "Is it clear enough for you? So, now that I got this out of the way, will you take me home or do you want to make me beg?"  
"Yes, I'd like that." Deep crimson flickered in the shadow.   
"Which is it?" Kennex asked, a note of desperation in his voice.  
"Both," Dorian grinned.


End file.
